Intimacy with God

Intimacy with God was by far one of my favoritist weeks.
I am going to share some of the quotes our speaker Dan shared with us. Intimacy with God is God wanting to do something with us just because we want to. There is no ulterior motive. Just think God wanting to spend quality time with us. How beautiful is that.
In your walk as a Christian you discover that God is in love with you over and over again.
The one phrase that really hit home to me was, If God asks you to do something, your ready!
Have you ever stopped to think what kind of man Jesus was? One that you only met for 30sec. and you leave all that you know to follow Him. Are we willing to do that?
Ministry itself is not a moment but a lifestyle. God is the center and everything else branches out from Him. So everything you do, do for the glory of God.
One important rule to live by is to live by God's character and not our own experience. This is one area in witch I have had trouble. I have relied to much on my own experience. I need to trust His character.
One of the things the speaker said was, I want to lean so hard on Jesus that when He moves I fall down. I really feel that is exactly what I am here to learn.
Passion is falling in love with God. This has been a journey for me. I had to ask myself if I had fallen head over heels in love with God. Wow, not quite there yet, but on a journey to it.
Our fears can be invitations to discover how good God is. When we fail God picks us up and then brags about us. He is proud that we at least tried. That should encourage us to keep moving forward.
Well this will be the last of my writings for awhile. I am leaving today for Kathmandu, Nepal. They suggest not blogging because they want the site to be secure. Please pray for safe travels and for protection while we our overseas. I will be back in the U.S. June 11th. Hope to catch up with you then.

Sat. night prayer

We had such an amazing night on Sat. We began with praise and worship
and then went into prayer for our outreach. Then the leader asked if there was anyone who had some concerns about outreach and if they did to speak it out and the rest of the group would pray over them. I of course have been feeling overwhelmed, so I mentioned that and others began praying. Then others began sharing their concerns, and we had an amazing night of praying for each other.
We then ended with communion. We served each other. It was such a beautiful experience.

PRISONER OF IRAN - CBN.com

I just wanted to share this video with you. This was the speaker we had just this last week.
What an amazing man of God. I will share more about my week later.

Holy Spirit

I of course am behind again at writing in my blog. Sorry!
Holy Spirit week was amazing. The gifts of the Spitit are wisdom,knowledge,faith,prophecy,healing,miracles,discernment of spirits,tongues,and interpretation of tongues.
Relationship with God is not based on feelings it is based on faith in God. Sometimes if we don't feel God we forget that He is still there and doing work in our lives. I know I have experienced this in my own life. When I felt that God hadn't heard my prayers, I felt totally abandoned. I then chose to walk away, and through that time I experienced deep depression and sorrow like I have never felt before. It was a very lonely time. I knew God personally had done many things in my life, so through that my faith had been built up. But I had allowed my feelings to lead me into darkness when I should have stood on faith. God had done many amazing things in my life, so I knew His character. I should have known that He was still working. That's faith. Good thing He is patient.
One of the topics that also really hit home was on Judgement. When judgeing others you condemn yourself. Have you ever caught yourself doing or saying the same things your parents did. Well when you judge others you do the same thing that has been done to you, and not only that the same thing happens over and over. This was an eye-opener. So then we were to ask God to forgive us for the judgement upon whoever we judged. Wow I didn't realize how much I had been judgeing others.
On Wed. we had a giving night. We were to pray to God and ask Him who we were to give to and what we were to give. What an amazing night. There were people that gave up computers, ipods, clothes, hats, money. I would recommend anybody doing this. It was such a blessing to be a blessing.
On Thurs. we talked about baptism and if anybody wanted to be baptized, to either rededicate their lives or to take a stand for Christ, that we would do it that afternoon. So we went to the pool and 12 of us out of 15 were baptized. I had been baptized at 21, but I knew that I needed to rededicate my life to Him. I couldn't stop smiling. I knew God was pleased.
That night we had a Holy Spirit party. We had a balloon inside a
styrafoam cup and we were to try and blow it up. It wouldn't go far because the cup held it back. That is what our fears and anything else we allow to get in the way does. So we were to write on the cup the things that hold us back and then rip it up or stomp on it and then blow up the balloon to allow the Spirit freedom. It was an amazing way to end the week. Here's a question for you? Will you allow the Holy Spirit to have freedom in your life?

Surprise

I got a surprise in the mail the other day. I received a journal from my friend before I left, and I left it at home so mom could get some of my prayer warriors to sign it, and when I got it in the mail I was surprised to see so many people write encouraging words in it. My dad was a very busy bee running all over getting people to sign it. I just want you all to know how much that meant to me. Of course some of them I read through tears. It will be such a comfort to have this to look at while on outreach. Speaking of outreach I will be officially leaving Mar. 29th. We will be in Kathmandu, Nepal for 4 weeks, 3 weeks with the YWAM base and the last week,possibly at a village. Then on to India. There we will be in Dharmsula. Not sure of where we are staying yet. Now that this is so close and so real I will be honest I have been freaking out a little bit. Please pray for peace and that everything will go smoothly. Also I have always been a horrible packer, so pray that I will know how to pack lightly. Thank you to all who have supported me whether through prayers and/or financial. Love you all!

Plumbline

That's the title of this last weeks teaching. This was a very emotional week. It seems that God is bringing me deeper and deeper into Him each week. For those who don't know what a plumbline is, it is a simple instrument made of metal used by bricklayers to keep the wall straight. We live in a time where most people have no idea who they are, where they came from and where they are going. We went into either having a passive personality or an aggressive one. When we are passive we become silent, fearful,depressed,alone,desperate,vulnerable, and so on. When we are agressive we become critical,negative,bitter,insecure,defensive. So which one are you? I am more passive. So then we went into finding out if we are on the rejected side of the plumbline or the rebellion side. Mine was definetely rejection side. Then she went into the different manipulators. The active manipulator is one that has to remain in control at all costs. The passive one is harder to detect because it is more undercover. The competitive is sometimes dominant and sometimes the victim, depending on the situation. And then the indifferent one is just that indifferent, they win by withdrawing. There was so much good information this week that it was sometimes hard to wrap your head around.
We then went into our personality profile: 1.Compliant, always available, always praying for you, always at your side. Basically I will do whatever want. 2.Defeated, nobody calls me,or visits or prays for me. Nobody loves me, and so I will give up. 3.Competitive, have an answer for everything,I will show you how to do this. As Troy says, I doimit myself. 4.Critical, see how well I perform, pay attention to me, I'm the boss. Saying I am not loved, neither will you be. Talk about alot to take in. So ask yourself what personality do you fit in? I have discovered I am more compliant but also have a little of all of them. Talk about a whack job. Ha!Ha!
We went into past rejections and finding out where they first originated from, also past rebellions. On thurs. we all got broke up into groups and had a deliverance time. We shared what our parents were like and then some of the struggles we have faced and how we dealt with them. We asked God to show us anything in our lives that we needed to have deliverance from and then asked for forgiveness. For instance, I have had many people in my life that have said nasty things about my weight or looked at me disgustingly. I knew that was a bondage that I wanted to get rid of, so I choose to forgive these people, even if I didn't know their names. Then one of the guy leaders said on behalf of the people that of hurt you, I'm sorry, will you forgive me. So I then said yes! And this continued on until I felt I was done or when God didn't show anything else to me. I cried through the whole process, but when I was done I experienced such peace and freedom. It was well worth it. The one thing the teacher said that really hit home was when you have been hurt and you don't forgive you are only hurting yourself. You are still the victim. When you let it go and forgive you bring healing and restoration to yourself. Who wouldn't want that? If you have pain in your life choose to forgive, it doesn't matter who is right or wrong, what matters is if you choose to forgive you too will be forgiven of your wrongs. Let God handle all the other stuff. Let God carry it. Trust me He knows who has wronged you.
We also had to write a letter to God about whatever was on our heart. Then we were to write down what God said back. We were not to think just write. If you haven't tried this before, try it because it will allow you to see how God sees you. We just ask God what His response is and begin to write. I even shut my eyes and just let God write. Don't read it until the end. Trust me it will move you to tears.
Well I finally got you all caught up. Until next time. Know that God loves you and cares for you.

Relationships

So sorry for the delay in writing. These last 2 weeks have been a tad bit emotional and filling. I will try to get you updated. At the end of Spiritual Warfare we had a staff from the base that had a word for our class. He had been given the word the first week we had been here, but God told him to wait to tell us. Well the time finally came. God had told him to tell us that we were inordinate warriors and we didn't even know it yet. Then he went on to say that we are like David's mighty warriors, found in 1 Chronicles 11:10-to end. As he was telling us this I began to cry, not knowing why, thinking it had to do with not believing this was possible. Then we went into a time of worship and I couldn't even lift my face to God, I was bent over and crying harder, then I had to go lay face first on the floor and sobbed. One of the leaders came up to me to see if I needed prayer and I knew it wasn't me that was crying but God crying through me, so she prayed for me so that God would clarify. All the rest of that day and into the night I had a heaviness that I couldn't break. It didn't come to me until the next morning. God had poured out what He wanted me to do. Of course it had to do with speaking to my fellow classmates. I went to the leaders and explained to them what God had given me and asked if I could approach the class. They said yes! So on Wed. afternoon I got up in front of the class and spoke to them. Here is what he gave me. I began to tell them how hard it is for me to talk to teenagers and that when I was a teenager I found it hard, but God the stand-up comic that he is sends me to YWAM with a bunch of teenagers. So I then began to share with them how hard my first week was and how I began to pray. I prayed that God would love them through me and that I would see them through God's eyes. Now I have a love for them that is only God. I then began to say that God had put the word compassion on my heart, and I felt that we as a team were lacking compassion. So I explained to them that I feel compassion is when you walk in somebody else's shoes, I then gave them some examples. I shared with them the importance of becoming as one family. If we are to become warriors then we had to work as a team. So I had them get on their knees or on their face and ask God if there was someone they had to go and ask for forgiveness. Also just seek out God's heart and ask Him for compassion. So as that was going on we dimmed the lights and Jon our leader played guitar. We let this go on for awhile and then as I was getting up one of the guys got up and talked also about the importance of unity, and how if we are not in complete unity that God can't use us to the fullest. Then another guy, DTS leader, got up and told about the dream that God had given him. We were waves that were building up and getting ready to crash into the shore, but if we didn't have the love and the unity those waves will fall short of land. God wants to use us to reach those on shore. Both were ways to end what God had given me. Then I showed them the back of a crosstitch picture, that this is the way that we look now, all going our seperate ways, then turned it over and showed them how when we are in unity we become a beautiful picture. We then all held hands and I prayed. One of the girls also came up and felt God telling her that we needed to wash each others feet, so on Thurs. afternoon we washed each others feet. Girl did girls and guys did guys. It was the most humbling experiences ever. I really feel that this has all brought us together. The funny thing is that this was all done during relationship week. God had already planned it out. He is so good!!!
At the end of that week the leaders treated us to a day at the zoo. It is called the Cheyenne Mountain Zoo. It's up on the mountain. It felt great to get out of the class room and enjoy the outdoors. That Sat. I left for Cyndi's and stayed overnight. We had a great day, enjoyed the cheesecake factory and then drove through the mts. to the casino's, it is the most beautiful drive ever. Can't wait to do it again. I had a great time there, hoping to be able to do it again. On Sun. Melissa, my roommate, and I gave our testimony at the prison. I am really glad to be able to go there every Sun. The girls really appreciate it and I am beginning to open up with them more. I would love to do a mentoring program with them. So needless to say it was a very busy, emotional week. God is doing some amazing things in my life.